First off, good morning, you’re beautiful. Second, this kills me that I have to address this in such a horribly angry rant, but I’m realizing that even within the limited number of people in this world that I know, the number of women that have been physically, sexually or mentally abused is staggering and nauseating. I want to start by saying that from the bottom of my heart and the core of my being, I am SO sorry. On behalf of all real men that still walk the earth and get sick to their stomachs when they hear things like that, please understand that a shred of my soul wilts for you. NO ONE deserves to have to deal with that, and I don’t have personal experience with this, but just some things I wanted to say to all of you: It wasn’t your fault, you didn’t and don’t deserve it, you’re not damaged goods and thank you. I’ll go piece by piece, and yes, I’m visibly/physically upset writing this: It wasn’t your fault and you don’t deserve it. You’re not a bad person. It was not karma paying you back for something you did. It was a horrible instance of the corrupted seed of man. It. Was. Not. Your. Fault. This one hurts me to hear or be witness to, and I’ve heard it before, “I’m damaged goods”. You are NOT damaged goods. Scars do not denote damage. They denote experience, strength and triumph. There is NOTHING wrong with you. You are just as, if not more perfect than the woman sitting right next to you. Your scar may be deeper than others, it may sting harder and last longer, but it is a scar. Nothing more. (Not belittling the severity of the situation, just clarifying that you are not damaged goods, society doesn’t view you differently and the black stain associated with it is NOT on your soul/heart. It is not.) “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” (Khalil Gibran) Lastly and most importantly, thank you. I mean that. Thank you for being strong. Thank you for persevering. Thank you for (hopefully/eventually) finding it in your heart to forgive men as a whole and most importantly for forgiving yourself. I’ve always said that the most awful things happen to people because they’re the strongest among us, and are the only ones who could have possibly handled it. As such, I say thank you. Thank you for taking the awful burden that you’ve had to bare so that someone with less strength didn’t have to. Thank you for showing the world what true strength of character is. Thank you for illustrating the true definition of what it means to pick yourself up, stand tall and still be able to look at yourself in the mirror with pride. Thank you for not breaking. Thank you for carrying on. Thank you for continuing to have love in a world that can sometimes seem so dark and bleak you don’t know if there is a way out or a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for giving hope. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I’m sorry. I will finish by simply saying, you are beautiful and no less deserving of love and happiness. “God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for scars.” (Elbert Hubbard) I can’t imagine how hard or awful it is, but please know there are people out there who love you.
My heart goes out to you, my soul weeps with you and I am here for you.
This means a lot to me. It’s always hardest to see the forest through the trees. I’m a survivor and thankful every day for the strength my experience has given me. I hope other survivors are able to read this and gain peace from your words.