Dear Women,
Good morning! It’s a dreary day here in the Northeast, so please smile! We need all the light we can get! Let’s talk about perfection. And by talk, I clearly mean rant. Perfection is found through self-acceptance, trial and tribulation and over-coming obstacles in life. Perfection is not a list you generate and then compare people to while checking items off like a grocery list. “Intelligent? Check. Healthy? Check. Driven? Check.” Etc. Etc. Etc. We all have thought of things like this, and, in speaking to women recently, I know a lot of women have predetermined views/thoughts/opinions of what their perfect mate is going to look like. First-off, this isn’t necessarily “wrong” but it’s certainly not going to get you what you truly want and need in life, in the most suitable and efficient fashion. What is it that people NEED you ask? To be loved and to be happy. Everything else adds to that sentiment and is what truly makes a relationship ideal. And ladies, you ALL deserve to be loved. And you ALL deserve to be happy. But what enables people to be happy? And I mean TRULY happy: not complacent or comfortable or momentarily elated… It’s contrast, willing sacrifice (selflessness) and a solid foundation of friendship. (See a piece I had written that really goes into depth on Friendship – Respect, Trust, Honesty and Communication… https://wax-poetic.org/2012/07/24/house-of-love/) Ladies, you are the embodiment of love and caring and so it’s often hard for you (and super emotional men) to be able to have a naturally growing and organic relationship. That person you feel butterflies for after hanging out twice might not be the right guy in the long-run, but may potentially still be a great friend. That guy who’s a great friend, but sometimes gives you butterflies or a cutesy feeling when you’re hanging out, could potentially be the “forever guy.” And, unfortunately, there’s no magic sauce or equation on this one to figure it out. Trust me ladies, if there was, I’d give it to you right now. It equates to time, patience and trusting your heart while still respecting your mind. Not everything makes total sense; the greatest things in life often don’t. And you need to take time and energy to figure them out and make sense of them. It’s part of the adventure of life and what keeps relationships and living in general so interesting! Many people (not just women) think they know exactly what they want in another person, but then they find that and guess what? They’re so similar that they’re bored. And that’s something that most people just have to figure out on their own. I’m writing this to simply remind all of you ladies out there that you are perfect the way that you are. Take life as it comes. Take chances. Don’t live with regret or the fear of regret. And give love a shot through friendship; it’s a solid foundation and is the stuff that Forever is made of. Ultimately, you’re worth that and so much more. Find someone who can prove that to you, outside of just the butterflies. “…The grass ain’t always greener on the other side, it’s green where you water it…” (Big Sean – As Long As You Love Me – Justin Bieber song… yeah, that just happened). But important. Water your garden; don’t look to find another. The time you invest in the valuable relationships you already have will always be better spent than the time wasted trying to find a new one because something doesn’t line up. Remember, as a child, at one point, you thought dandelions were the most beautiful flower ever. And to you, at that time, they were. Then, you learned of roses and how beautiful they were. Perhaps later on you found another flower that appealed to you even more than the rose and you hadn’t even known of it previously! Imagine what you’ll love tomorrow. Don’t close the door; there may be things out there that you can’t even imagine how much you’ll value because you aren’t aware they exist. People create energy. All energy mixes differently with the energies that surround it. And each energy is unique, therefore each combination paired up with that energy is also unique. There is no black or white. So, see the world in colour, see love as an artist’s palette, and grow your new favorite flower tomorrow. But grow it; don’t try and find it. You’re worth it. You are loved.
Sincerely,
Hopeless Romantics
Wax Poetic 