I Was Lied To Tonight…

I was lied to Tonight
And although I try and fight with the urge to get upset
I feel like the unwarranted lie can only be met with regret.
You see, She lied to me, about something that that took a piece of me wholly
That shook my core, my essence, my whole-being
And in the end made me second guess wearing my heart on my sleeve.
You see, Tonight I was lied to.
Someone I considered a friend
Has apparently been playing pretend
And regardless as to what ends
Sees me as less than a man.
You see, Tonight I was lied to.
By my own heart.
It was a tragic start to the end of the day.
An awful foray into the disappointments of life and pain, heartache and the bottomless feelings of loneliness that can only be accompanied by the night.
By the unquestionable sadness found billowing in the times left between the lack of light.
Feelings that can only be heard above the cacophony of someone wittingly denying their feelings of pre-emptive love
Feelings of knowing that I needed you to be honest and that you simply betrayed my trust.
You see, Tonight, seemed like a good night for a piece of my heart to be fooled by a piece of my mind.
Tonight, seemed like a good night for a piece of my emotions to fade
And Tonight, seemed like a good night to sit alone and cry.
You see Tonight, another sliver of my soul withered away and died.
Because Tonight, I was lied to.
Tonight I was played for a fool.
Because Tonight I allowed myself to be used as little more than someone else’s tool
And Tonight, I learned that it’s not a state of existing but instead of believing that allows one to get used.
And Tonight, I fooled myself again, into a false sense of hope that people are inherently good.
So as a result, Tonight left me longing.
Tonight I was left longing for a night to become undone and let a nightmare be ended by the dawning of the sun.
You see, Tonight, I was left longing for the feeling of belonging and the security of being cared for by someone.
You see, Tonight, I was left longing, for love. Longing for comfort. Longing for a hug.
And yes, Tonight I was alone.
Tonight I remembered the feeling that I’d long since forgotten that it’s not the structure or location, but the people, that make it a home.
Tonight, I was alone with my thoughts, alone with my worries, alone with my discomfort, troubles and fury.
Tonight, I was alone within myself, I could have reached out for help, but the flurry of emotion made my decisions vision blurry.
Tonight, I was wrong and found wanting.
Tonight, I was wrong, about what I expected when I respected your honesty all along.
Tonight, I was found wanting, I find the weight of my longing daunting, and my internal fiber is only so strong.
And Tonight, I was wrong and found wanting to be right. To think that after all this time of being wrong and unfound, that maybe this tunnel would lead me to light.
But Tonight, I was found wanting to be wrong, about the colours I now see as love, and her disenfranchised song.
You see, Tonight, fears of my heart came true.
Because Tonight, I was lied to.
Tonight, I was played for a fool
And although Tonight, is only one night
From Tonight, I will be left longing
Because Tonight, I was left alone,
Tonight I was found wanting.
Because Tonight I was wronged,
Moving forward from Tonight, my blood flows to the beat of a different song
And Tonight, a piece of my soul changed what it had believed all along.
Now Tonight, even Chivalry doesn’t know what to do
And Tonight, Hopeless Romanticism has a hard time shining through,
You see, as a result of Tonight, hidden manifestations renouncing love from my heart shone true,
Because, you see, Tonight, I was lied to.