Trying vs. Failing

Dear Women,

Good morning ladies! It’s getting a little chilly here (in the Northeast), bundle up! The cold weather is coming back, the day-time is getting shorter, and people are getting more comfortable and complacent in their everyday lives. Today’s rant is about taking chances versus failing. It’s closely associated with the prior rant on living with regrets. I was always told, “If you try, you may succeed or you may fail. But if you don’t try, you’re guaranteed to fail. The only way to truly fail is to never try.” This is a great motto to live life by and something that as of late, I’ve seen more and more women struggling with. (Again, can also be read and used by men, but recently I’ve seen a lot of my close female friends struggling with this). This comes in many different ways: Love, career, passion, and life. Maybe you’re worried about breaking up with a long-standing significant other because you’re worried you’ll essentially “fail at love” moving forward, or vice-versa, not getting together with a special person because you’re too concerned it won’t work out. Or you’re thinking of pursuing a career in a very difficult field like performing or music and you’re worried that pursuing it can only lead to failure. Stop worrying! Yes, it’s hard. Decisions are tough, and they can affect the rest of your life. I’m not questioning that, and I’m not saying it’s wrong to feel a little nervous about it, but worrying or fearing to the point of not following through on things you know could be fruitful, positive, or just good things that you want to do, will ONLY hinder you in life. The worst thing that can ever happen when you try something, is that you fail. But you tried, and ideally, you gave it your all. And you know, 100%, without a doubt in your mind that you did what you could and it just frankly, wasn’t meant to be. And you will have learned something(s) and also grown as a person with both maturity and experience. Imagine the other side of that boat… “What if I had just broken up with him/her, maybe I would’ve found someone better, or maybe I’d be happier, or maybe that thing wouldn’t have ever happened.” Likewise, “What if I had just stuck it out with that band, or performed with that guy I don’t really know. What if we would’ve hit it big. Or what if they hit it big without me and that could’ve been me?!!?” Always better to know that you tried something and failed then never try something at all. Some of the greatest loves and successes I have known in this world came as the direct result of a previous failure. And without struggling and failing at the first thing I was doing (or trying to do consequently), I would never have even been privy to the existence of the second. Ladies! Please treat yourself and your life this way!!! If you really want something, or to do something, or give something a shot, just do it!! Don’t worry about failing. If you’re thinking that you want to go back to school but you’re worried that your time has passed and you’ll just fail, then by not doing it, guess what?! You’ve already failed!! At least one way you can give it a shot. You’ll learn, you’ll grow, and I promise you that tomorrow, you’ll feel better about that situation than you did today. Because there’ll be no more question in your mind. Failure is a scary thing, for some, it’s almost an impenetrable fear. And it’s debilitating. Some of the greatest people to walk the earth only became so because they failed enough times to get it right. (The first thought for me is always Einstein who failed out of elementary school… yeah, really dummy there.) So please, PLEASE! Don’t be scared, at least not of failure. You are capable. You are worthy. And frankly, win, lose, tie, succeed, or fail, you’re fucking awesome. And some things were meant to be. Others were not. Might as well find out to the best of your ability and not just guess or assume!!! This is your life. Own it. Be you. Love each and every day that you’re alive (yes, because you never know when it’ll be your last, and if you didn’t enjoy your last day on this earth doing or pursuing things you love, than shame on you…) And most importantly; follow the path that you hold true for yourself. You’re worth the effort. I promise. It’ll all work out no matter where your path ends. Because regardless of where you stand at the end of the path, you’ll know it’s where you should be. Enjoy your journey, and as always, smile. You’re beautiful inside and out.

Sincerely,
Hopeless Romantics