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Dear Women,

Good morning! Following up from last week’s topic of Forgiveness I wanted to touch on something I’ve been seeing, as well as dealing with personally, in the recent past. Forgiveness, as we know, is really tough, but it kills me to see people holding on to “baggage”. Now, I get it, we all have things we’ve been burned by, we all have been in situations we’d cut off our thumbs to not go through again, and we’ve all been hurt, emotionally, physically or mentally by someone else and had the power, somehow, to avoid it beforehand. I get it. But how long do we hold onto those feelings? Those fears? Those Trust-issues, doubts, etc. Basically, how long in a relationship with someone (or friendship) do we wait before we let our guard down, to stop worrying, stop doubting and truly, from our core, start trusting and believing? Because, as I’ve learned, this is not a chemical reaction. This is not an emotional shift that just takes place one day. This is a decision that you just have to put your foot down on and make. It’s not easy and takes a leap of faith, but it’s necessary, I promise. The reason these feelings exist and this position is created is because of doubt. Because of mis-trust. Because, “if it’s happened before, who’s to say it won’t happen again”. What this does is hold your relationship back. It limits your emotional and mental commitment and availability to the other person. You can’t be “both feet in” if you still, every now and again, question the relationship in reference to past encounters. And that’s scary. It’s very VERY hard to just let go of all that stuff. So when do you do this? How do you know it’s the right time? Truth-be-told, you can’t ever really “know”. But talk to your significant other. See how they feel, and how they REALLY feel, not just what they say. Are they earnest? Are THEY both feet in? At a point where you know, you KNOW, that your significant other is both feet in, falling blind, tossing caution to the wind and just loving you wholly and truly. That’s your answer. When you know that, when you feel that to be true, do that same. It’s a decision. It’s a choice. A difficult choice. I hate to see people put a wedge in a relationship because they want to feel the same way, they want to let go of those things but just can’t seem to or don’t know how. It’s like forgiveness, which is why I’m writing about this topic now. You just have to let it go and have faith. Yes, you could get hurt, again. Yes, it could be bad, or tough, or a bad idea, again. That’s ALWAYS the case when it comes to trust. But if your significant other has already swam out to an island leaving everything in their past behind, you should do so also (if you feel the same way about them). The worst feeling is letting go of your caution and fears and wrong-doings in your past and being alone on that island, being “Two feet in” by yourself. If they’re already on that Island, join them. You won’t regret it. Even if it doesn’t work out, even if something bad happens, again, you’ll know. You’ll know you gave it your all. You’ll know it wasn’t your fault. And you’ll know that you gave Love a chance to grow. A friend once told me, “Love lost is better than not really knowing Love, or giving Love a chance to grow.” And they’re right, it’s worth it. Give it a chance. Give Love a chance, it’s a risk that is always worth it in the end. Even 100 broken hearts is worth the feeling of a full heart. A heart that knows love, that gives love and receives love without question. You’re worth that Love. You’re worth even just the CHANCE of that love. Give it a chance. You could be one leap, one fall, and one caught heart away from True Love. You deserve True Love. Don’t give up on it, and don’t give up on yourself, you’re somebody’s” Perfect”. And as always; Much Love, Smile On.

Sincerely,
Hopeless Romantics

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