Dear Women,

Good morning, sorry that this is late. My prayers are still with everyone up in Boston and their loved ones. This rant is actually about those people that you love and that you care about, and that sometimes, you also care for. (Difference there between for and about). There is a thin line that people tote, and as a parent it has to be very difficult, as well as being a son/daughter, friend, lover, etc. You should always care about those that you love and do what you can to help them. Parents I feel, know this best; looking out for your son or daughter, you don’t want them to get hurt, or make bad decisions that will affect their life or their psyche. However, with that, there is a thin line between helping them and over-protecting when you’re no longer actually helping them, you’re stopping them from learning, or falling flat on their face and having to pick themselves back up. This is a difficult distinction to make because when you love someone, you don’t want to see them hurt themselves. You never want to see someone you love and care about fail. But sometimes, it’s what’s best for them. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to watch someone you love doing something wrong or knowing they’re going to be hurt or fail (this is true with finances, work, love, or just life decisions). And often times stating, “Hey, be careful with what you are doing” or “Hey, I wouldn’t do that” seems like the right thing to do, and sometimes they are. But there are times when you just have to let things happen, let that bad thing happen, let them make that mistake so that they will learn from it and become a better person. I’m merely writing this to all the parents, all the sons/daughters, and the friends, and the lovers who care for another person and want nothing but the best from them. BE WARY! You can’t hinder their growth or maturity. It is essential we all learn our own lessons. And that lesson you had to learn the hard way? Guess what, that person you love probably does also. There are exceptions to all situations, but I’ve been seeing this a bit where people are afraid to let others fail or don’t want to see them hurt. I know it’s hard to do. I know it hurts you. But you know what the result is going to be, you’ve been there. And be there as you had or had wanted someone else, to be there for you. Help them to overcome, not to always avoid. Love them despite their flaws and mistakes, not in lieu of. Growth and experience come from making mistakes, recovering, learning and moving forward, not from avoiding them all and having other people tell you what to do. Remember we are all different. We all deal with situations differently and need that space to be who we are. Be supportive, be caring, be loving. But don’t stop that person from growing or learning through mistakes and/or failure. Be the amazing person that you are, helping them get back on their feet or learn from their mistakes. Try and show them if you must what will happen if they go down that path, but remember, it’s their path to choose. Support them. Love them. And let your love and beauty shine through when THEY need it the most, not when you think they do. It’s a challenge, and not an easy one. But I know you’re up to it, you’re a great person who has seen and done a lot themselves. Empower others to be just as amazing as you are. And as always; Much Love, Smile On.

Hopeless Romantics

2 thoughts on “Caring vs. Over-Caring – For Loved Ones

  1. As a teenager I enabled you for a long time for the exact reason you said. In glad you realize how hard it was to stop enabling and let you fall. As a child, I let you learn on your own,some things. I truly believe that you raise your children the best you can and teach them right from wrong, and what consequences can occur. What they do with that knowledge is out of your hands. It’s hard for a parent not to feel that they have failed as a parent. It stays with you forever.

  2. You have always been and will always be a great mother, and I was lucky and blessed to have you as mine. You have a unmatched and unbridled love that is hard to even express or reciprocate and as a result, you have a family that loves you from the bottom of their hearts and wouldn’t know which was up if you weren’t there to remind them. As far as Mom’s go, you’re absolutely perfect in my book. Wouldn’t have had it any other way with any other person.

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