Dear Women,

Good morning, I hope everyone avoided the bug going around over the past week or two, and very sorry to those who haven’t. Eminem once said, “Lose yourself in the moment…” I want to talk about losing yourself, but in more than just a moment. Losing yourself in a moment is an integral part of the human experience in many different situations (both good and bad) that we find ourselves in. But to lose yourself to a situation, or even to lose the perception or paradigm of your own self-worth, value or independence, can be, and often is, damaging. I’ve seen it too many times where a strong, intelligent, independent woman (much like all of you) enters into a serious relationship, and unfortunately over time, that relationship begins to start to define them. They never LOSE who they are, but who they view themselves as, and how they view their life and their future starts to change, it starts to revolve around words like “we” and “us”. And to a degree, this is fine, it’s a great feeling. But again, only to a degree. You were an amazing human being with unlimited potential before you met this person, and heaven-forbid that something goes awry, you will still be that person. And while love is important, love does not define you as a person, it does not shape your very existence. It is an important piece that people seek and value and cherish and hold dearly. But don’t confuse that with character-defining. Now, please, don’t take this to mean to keep your heart locked up in a chest at the bottom of your ocean of previously abandoned ideals and promises. No. Instead, love fully. Love wholly. Love with every fiber of your being. But don’t EVER love the “us” and “we” OVER yourself. The “us” and “we” only came into existence because of what an amazing person you are, don’t forget that. And don’t lose that. You are worthy of the same level of love that you give to others. And you are awe-inspiring and inspirational all on your own. Don’t let yourself lose sight of that. Let someone compliment all of the potential you have to give to this world. Don’t let that person or your love of/with that person re-define your earthly potential and human capacity. Be you. That’s why that person fell in love with you in the first place. This is a very hard line to toe, but must be done with careful consideration. And the longer that love exists and the deeper it goes, the more important individualism is to maintain. If not ONLY for you, your well-being and your very happiness, then also recognize that when you give up that piece of yourself you’re more than likely giving up large piece of what that person fell in love with to begin with… You. Don’t forget that a relationship, a strong, loving, lasting relationship is an amalgamation of two pieces, where the whole is more than the sum of its parts. Your love can’t be more complete than the sum of your parts if you are no longer the full “part” (individual) you were when they fell in love with you. So please, I encourage you to, “Lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it, you better never let it go…” Only, you’re the composer and the “music” is the individual in you that defines the value you add to this world. Your existence on this earth is your “moment”, own it, and no matter the situation, the love, the intensity or your focus, don’t EVER let it go. You are better than that. Be your own composer, don’t let someone else orchestrate your purpose. You are amazing, remember that. And as always; Much Love, Smile On.

Hopeless Romantics

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