Dear Women,
Happy New Year! Let’s start the year off with a good old fashion rant shall we? Yes, we shall. I’ve seen this occurring more over the last month than I have in the previous year, and perhaps it’s chalked up to the end of the year, start of the new year, holidays, or some emotional connection to the winter solstice that I’ll never understand. Either way, ladies, LADIES! You are amazing in and of yourselves! You do not NEED anyone in your life to validate that! I don’t care if you’re from the North, the West, the South, Europe, Earth or Uranus1 (see what I did there? Little humour before I go all “ranty”) You are amazing, you were amazing when you were born, you’ll be amazing when you leave this earth and EVERY moment in between. No one needs to validate that and no one needs to validate you. I’ve seen far too many of you trying to convince yourself that this guy is right for you, or that this relationship is what you want, or that you NEED someone to date/love/marry/have kids with. You NEED none of those things. And until you’re in a position to understand, appreciate and accept that truth, you will ALWAYS feel alone. Not because you ARE alone, no. But because you’re not comfortable enough with yourself to BE alone! That’s ultimately how to find your mate. People keep asking, “Well how do I find the right person?” The short answer is: STOP LOOKING! Be YOU. Do things that YOU like doing, simply because YOU like doing them. I promise, if you are happy with yourself, by yourself, for yourself, you won’t have to find someone, they’ll find you. Why don’t I encourage finding your “soul mate” at a bar: because the introductory point you both have in common is that you both drink…. Like… REALLY?!?!?! How about doing something you love and meeting someone that also happens to love that! Not because you do, no. Because THEY love it themselves. What a great foundation! Or instead, what if someone you know introduces you to someone else they know and they believe you’ll be a perfect fit. And guess what, YOU MIGHT BE!!! But the only way to get in that position is to be doing things you love, meet people who also enjoy doing those things, and create valuable and meaningful relationships with them! Stop trying to find someone. And worse-off, stop validating something you shouldn’t be. If someone doesn’t treat you the way you want to be treated, nay, the way you DESERVE to be treated, STOP MAKING EXCUSES! I don’t care that you like them! People like lots of things, doesn’t make it right for them!!! I don’t care that you think they’re a great person! Guess what? If they were, they’d treat you better. And maybe they don’t know, maybe this is the 5% of the time and you’re right, they’re just unaware. Then make them aware… ONCE! And I assume they won’t change (and God bless if they do, but I’m a realist) And guess what? You are better than that! And you deserve better than that! You were awesome-sauce before that person and you’ll be just as awesome-sauce (if not more so) after that person. STOP SETTLING!!!! It only helps to prove how little value you have of yourself. Stop listening to social norms saying when you should get married and have kids etc. Stop caring what all your friends are doing. Stop thinking about what you “should” be doing. Do what makes you happy. Period. And if you’re saying right now, “Well being loved and having someone be affectionate towards me is what makes me happy…” Then you need some God Damn Hobbies/Passions! Get out there and do things that make you happy with or without someone else. We all love Affection, and being/feeling Loved! But that doesn’t DEFINE us! Or at least it shouldn’t! Be you. Be your own person and find someone who won’t walk ahead of you as if they’re better, or behind you as if you’re on a pedestal. Or walking in a different direction that you’re heading in. No. Wait, trust me it’s worth it. Wait to find that person who will walk beside you, in the same direction. Someone who will catch you when you stumble and chase you when you’re running ahead. If you are not comfortable and happy being by yourself and doing your own thing, you will NEVER find someone who makes you happy. You will only continue to devalue yourself until eventually you wind up settling for the “best of what’s around” or the “best of the worst” or the “Devil you know”. Time to put on the Big-Girl pants ladies. Time to look in the mirror and ask, “Who am I?” “What makes me, ME?” And go be that. Go DO that!!! Everything else will follow. I promise. You’re worth more than someone else telling you what you’re worth. You’re worth more than needing someone else to complete you or validate your existence. And someone WILL come along and “complete you”, but only when you don’t need anyone in your life to do so. And THAT is an amazing feeling – Becoming even more whole when you were already complete. But you have to be comfortable and happy with yourself first. You’re worth it. And no matter what, no matter WHAT: you’re not alone, you ARE loved… And as always; Much Love, Smile On.
Sincerely,
Hopeless Romantics
Wax Poetic 