Dear Women,

Good morning! I’ve had a couple friends going through some situations in their relationships that require some attention. You see, relationships are integrally a structure held up by 4 load-bearing beams, we’ll call them pillars. In ALL relationships these pillars are: Honesty, Trust, Communication and Respect. All 4 pillars help support the other, much like any structure with 4 corners. Trust is built through open communication, honesty and respect for each other. Honesty is shared when trust is given, respect is shown and communication is unfettered. Respect and Communication are a direct derivative of each other particularly when coupled with Trust and Honesty. When one is broken, all break. When one fails, the whole relationship fails. It is important to remember that Trust is built from the ability to communicate honestly and openly and showing respect for the person you’re speaking with. Trust is something that takes a while to build up through consistency and delivery/action, but only takes one lack of follow-through to start to break down. It often times isn’t even the action (or lack of action) that warrants or dictates this lack of trust, but the lack of follow-through on a promise. i.e. – did you not calling, really upset the other person that badly, or was it that you told them that you’d call, you PROMISED them that you’d call, and you didn’t? You broke your promise. You didn’t keep your word. THAT is truly the issue that people face. This is black and white. If you say you’re going to do something (or not do something) either do (or don’t) do it. This does leave for an area of compromise in a relationship, for example; If you promise your significant other that you will call them at night, and then you go out drinking with your co-workers after work, and you text them and promise that you’ll call when you get home, but by the time you get home you’re exhausted and wind up falling asleep and not calling – you broke your promise. Now, that is unacceptable. Unacceptable that you didn’t call? No. But unacceptable that you said you would do something and didn’t? Yes. Solutions: Either call when you say you’re going to call, OR, don’t say you’re going to call in which case? No one is let down. (Just an example… ish). Set realistic expectations, not only with your significant other, but with yourself. They need to be able to trust that when you say you’re going to do something that you’re 100% of the time going to do it and deliver on it. Sometimes this really is as simple as just not saying you’re going to do something. That way, you don’t let that person down. Be careful to always be true to your word, don’t over promise and under deliver. Instead; Under Promise, and over deliver. It leaves room to compromise and for both parties to meet in the middle in a place that enables both to feel as though they can trust the other, that the lines of communication are open, that they are both being honest while at the same time respecting each other. You are all worthy of all of these feelings, do not settle for less, but also, do not give less. You are worth it. It is worth it. Love is worth it. And as always; Much Love, Smile On.

Hopeless Romantics

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