I’ve learned that the word Family, is a homonym.
It sounds the same, but depending on perspective it can have a different meaning.
Some people believe it to be those that share your blood or binding contract
Some people believe it to be their religious brethren,
their racial cousin,
or anyone that’s always got their back.
There’s no wrong answer, and as such no rhyme to any reason.
Family is but a word, the value comes from its implied meaning.
For me, Family is like Humility at its best –
It’s not about thinking less of you – it’s about thinking of you less.
It’s the sacrifice you make so you can do right by the rest.
That group, that rest, is the family that you can truly hold close to your chest.
They are the people that when the chips are down and you’re almost through
That you hand over what little you have left so that they don’t have to.
And when that act is repeatable through a group of people,
you may be down but never out because they’ll always do the same for you.
I’ve learned that when people of vastly varying views of this concept unite
Several variances and struggles are brought to light.
Variances of view will come to the surface first,
but the variance of its relation to love is the worst.
Variance is merely a delta between hard data points
This isn’t something that inherently has any consequence.
But what does, is the struggle that certain variances impose
Like shaking or shaping the foundation on which you’ve built your home.
Having a difference of opinion on family isn’t like choosing Superman over Batman
(Which we know is the wrong opinion)
But instead it’s like choosing air over sustenance
or shelter over warmth
All of these ultimatums lead to death.
Because there is no right answer.
Air isn’t more important than eating
Having a roof over your head isn’t more important than not freezing.
But when the world is breathing down your neck, these are choices that people have to make –
I love food, but in that situation I’d always choose not to suffocate
It’s in this way, that people face a seemingly insurmountable dilemma –
How do you prioritize things that you feel you need to live?
Again – there’s no right answer, but maybe this is where those vast variances of view can come together.
Because the problem with everything or everyone being your number-1
is that all of your number-1’s suddenly become interchangeable and aren’t that important.
I come from a large family and I love them all, but it’d be crazy to say equally
Yes, I’d die for each and every one of them, but not for a single one before my fiance.
Many people reading now would consider this treason, but just hear this:
I don’t have, nor do I want – kids.
So to me, my wife-to-be, is my unequivocal number 1 – she is truly the definition of my life
People throw that phrase around enough that it’s meaning gets tossed aside
But weigh the heaviness of those words –
She. Is. My. Life.
There is no life, including my own, I put before her.
There is no feeling, including my own, I put before hers.
And there is no weight I will not bear, including my own, to alleviate hers.
This isn’t to say I wouldn’t do the same for my parents, siblings, sisters, brothers or their children –
But if a choice had to be made between Air and Sustenance just remember –
She is my breath, her smiles keeps me full, her hugs keeps me warm, and her love is my shelter.
There is no choice.

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