Dear Women,
Good morning! I’ll be honest, it’s not quite as warm and comforting up here as it was down in Florida, but, C’est La Vie! Speaking of comforting, a piece of wisdom I was granted at an early age from Ma-Dukes has been ringing true for me and the people I know and care about deeply; “There is a difference between Comfort and Love.” I WAS very comfortable in Florida, but I didn’t LOVE it, I’m never SUPER comfortable in Philly (it’s dirty), but I do LOVE it… It’s my home. The same goes for relationships, and it kills me to see people, particularly friends, in a position where they are not sure which is which. “I’ve been with this guy for X-long, and I know he loves me, so I feel like I should give it another try.” I’m not going to say that “you’re better than that” or my usual MO’s, because truth-be-told, it’s an opinion on this one, not a fact – but a very wise opinion. Just because you can lie down next to someone, feel comfortable and safe, and feel some sort of chemical connection/bond with someone doesn’t mean you’re in love with them. It doesn’t mean you DON’T love them either! It just doesn’t 100% of the time always equal being IN love. People grow comfortable with one another the longer a relationship carries on and they spend huge amount of time (sometimes intimate) with one another, and as such, they wind up growing complacent. And the problem with comfort/complacency without the true feelings of love is eventually, that feeling of complacency wears off, and you find yourself wanting more, or wondering if you deserve more, or even just curious if there is more out there for you. So, my piece of advice, and this goes for any relationship, but most particularly the ones of the heart… Be mindful of which is which. Love is a feeling that you’d have a hard time living without, you’d really struggle and have to try and put pieces of yourself back together to complete you. Comfort is a feeling that you don’t want to live without because it feels good and you don’t know if you want to lose that feeling. One is an integral piece of who you are as a person, one is a feeling that is most certainly nice, but in the end, is just a feeling. So please! Understand yourself, or take the time to try to: Are you truly Happy in your State of Being as you? (in love) or are you content because it’s familiar and feels safe and normal (comfortable). And yes, I promise, you deserve to be IN Love. Be comfortable, IN Love. Don’t settle to Love being just comfortable. And, you know, yeah… you’re better than that. (it’s true, you are) Much Love. Smile On.
Sincerely,
Hopeless Romantics
Wax Poetic 