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Dear Women,

Good morning, I hope St. Patty’s Day treated you well. Quick but passionate rant this morning, and something that hits me close to home, because, well, I struggle with it myself. Acting/speaking out of emotion, not thought and/or logic. It’s something many people struggle with, but it greatly affects those that are naturally overly-emotional and/or overly passionate (like me). And it’s tough, it’s definitely a fault of mine so I understand how difficult it is to deal with. When you get angry, or frustrated, or feel offended your first reaction is to jump/respond and “clear your name”, or “prove yourself right”. I can’t stress how important it is to just simply NOT DO THAT. Your first emotional response is rarely ever the right response. It is simply your gut-check reaction to make you feel better in that moment. What I’ve realized is that even if it makes you feel better (flip that person off, yell at them, curse a bunch, get angry, whatever it is that you do to let that steam out immediately) it ultimately doesn’t achieve the goal you want. We are all unopened cans of soda when it comes to emotion. Things that “stir us up” the wrong way would be like shaking that can. Opening the can right away results in an explosion, too much comes out, too quickly and it’s not manageable (it’s also messy and sticky but I don’t know how that fits into this analogy). If you never open the can and keep shaking it, eventually it goes flat. This is when you bottle too many things up inside and either little things set you off, or nothing does anymore because your emotions have gone, for a lack of better analogies on this… stale. Most importantly to note, neither of these results achieves what you really wanted… Something to drink!! It’s really really hard to step back in the situation though, particularly when you feel offended or that you’re unquestionably correct about something and someone is telling you otherwise. And it makes it even more difficult to not immediately say something, but instead, think about what you want the intended result of this situation to be, and act accordingly. And I’m not saying it’s always a gross over-reaction, that doesn’t matter. Just take actions to get the results you want! Not to just feel better in the given moment. Easier said than done right?! Easy way to at least start practicing and getting better about it: Do it in situations where you don’t feel cornered or offended. Do it with good news, do it with news that doesn’t even register on an emotional level. Tell that person, “Thanks, just give me one minute.” Then think to yourself; identify where the process or situation is at and where you want it to be. Remove yourself from the situation (because your personal feelings, although important, shouldn’t affect your decision to achieve a desired result) and then figure out the best way to attack the situation and proceed accordingly. I know it’s tough and it’s something that many people struggle with. But for your own success and happiness it’s very important to try and reign that in a little. Be able to take a breath and be able to make decisions and statements from a calm place of thought as oppose to an underlying torrent of chaotic emotion. This will help you in all areas of your life as well; business, friendships and relationships. No one likes to be offended or feel offended. But please, PLEASE try and remember… How many people in your life really do things with the INTENT to insult or offend you? If you take the time to think about this, the answer is probably very very very few. The insult and offense you feel is ancillary due to an action or something they said that was done without the intent to insult you. Keep that in mind and act accordingly. Keep your head held high, you’re a great person. Know that. Own that. Try and identify what that person’s intent could have been, and ALWAYS assume it’s positive, not negative or inflammatory. Let perceived insults or offenses roll off your shoulders and just simply remember what an amazing person you are and strive to be. And as always; Much Love, Smile On.

Sincerely,
Hopeless Romantics

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