I have an oak dresser stored in the depths of my chest
I rent space in its drawers because I don’t own it,
It was built by those who came and took up residence
And like all of those before them had – eventually left
Two drawers are locked, I’m not allowed in, they always stay closed
I’m told it’s that way for me, to leave my heart’s memories less exposed.
But in the top drawer I keep the pieces of myself, so I can shut and lock it
The parts of me, or at least that used to be:
My hour glass stored up-right, my bleeding heart and my empty wallet.
These are the broken promises, that I keep buried,
And I can’t just remove the dresser – it’s too damn heavy
So I keep it hidden away, lose the mental address, but maintain my emotional health
You see, the oak of this dresser was built from a tree shunned by Gaia herself
Unnatural to the ways of nature, created by society and the affliction towards our self
But this wasn’t built solely by others, of course, I had to help.
I keep this dresser buried, but not deep enough.
I let my emotions dictate when I should wipe the dirt off.
But every time I do, EVERY TIME, I wind up burying it a little deeper
I make the face of the drawers just a little steeper
And I always swear, I swear that I’ll call a locksmith,
I’d have a nearly impenetrable lock built, with the shavings of my heart, the sand from my hour glass, and the dust from my wallet.
I swore that each time was the last
And that the next time he’d build it,
I swore.
But I never do.
Instead I keep this case buried skin deep,
Directly connected to the heart I keep just under my sleeve.
I used to wear T-shirts because I had nothing to hide and you could see my jewelry,
But now the only thing I brandish is an over coat to cover all the scars my arm received.
And yet there we were, walking up Madison against the wind in the cold
You grabbed my sleeve, and I got nervous but you pulled me close.
You didn’t need to make your mark, you simply wanted to take a hold
It was in that moment that it hit me, a feeling that only you and I know.
As we made our way toward Central Park the feeling crept up my body, starting from my toes.
Filling my lungs with the air I would breath through my nose
And even changing the fundamental way my blood flows.
It was a warm sensation I suppose, that left the very fibers of my being shaken
If anyone else had looked alarmed I would have declared it an earthquake when
It hit my waist and developed into an infinitesimal pit just above my stomach
And for the first time, I felt the locks start to break and release me from my cabinet.
The drawers were mine to access now for the first time since it had gained roots in my chest
And for the people who’ve asked, “What does love feel like?” here’s how I describe it best:
Love is a feeling sent not spent, you don’t have to be wrong to repent
Decisions bent, not at every cent but instead wherever she went.
Love is a black hole in the center of my core,
But I see this singularity of infinite mass and density
Existing not as a cosmic entity
Whose very existence persists from its entropy.
No.
This is truly an Event Horizon
A black-tie affair held at sunset at the Ritz Carlton
The only people invited are us and, my buried emotions.
And we empty the unlocked spaces of my dresser into the infinite beyond
And just like that, every negative experience I’d been forced to hold on to is gone.
We question Karma about the items I kept stored in the drawers of my chest;
The Hour Glass, my heart and my wallet.
We want to know if we can just discard the drawers with them in it
But Fate interjected and said, “No, use them as your center pieces,
Lay the hour glass on its side and let the sand of your time rest with ease
Use your wallet to hire a carpenter instead of a locksmith,
You need this wood wide open not held captive under lock and key.
Have the carpenter lay the wood down as the dance floor and,
Let this dance floor be the center piece of this scene
Teetering on the brink to remain on the edge of what’s beyond
In this privately reserved room, in the Ritz Carlton,
In your soul’s undisclosed location
Reserved by your emotion.
Now, let your heart lead you both to dance together.
Dance for the love you share
And wear comfy shoes because this song lasts forever.
Don’t stop dancing until the music from the strings of your heart cease to play.
The sun will certainly set but it will rise again with each following day.
And you will allow it to with each kiss you share
And each tender emotion you allow the other’s heart to hear.
You will also nurture each other’s, respect and growing trust
But never forget the Oak dresser that once sat inside you collecting dust
Never forget the path you had to take to finally have met your soul mate.”
And I don’t. I was taught to never let love wait.
You see, every time I look into your eyes I’m reminded why and whisper:
“Thank you Fate.”
So so beautiful…