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Dear Women,

Good evening, sorry this is so late, one of those Mondays…. Being a good friend is difficult, in so many ways. We think that because we get older the drama that preceded the undertones of all of our relationships as children are no longer present. They are still there. They still scream, sometimes even more loudly, through our actions. I’ve been seeing this more and more with people not acting as adults with each other, and often times, trapping a third friend (totally innocent to the matter) in the middle of childish quarrels. Childish Quarrels = arguments where either or both parties don’t express to the other how they’re feeling, what’s bothering them, and generally just creating drama from a situation that should and could be deal with. Ladies! LADIES! Come on now… Friendship spans beyond mistakes. Friendship spans beyond lack of understanding, bad decisions and situations. Friendship is an amalgamation of all the experiences, both good and bad, that we’ve shared with each other. They are not defined by a single solitary instance, emotion or consequence. We make mistakes, we’ll offend each other and we’ll say and do things we know we shouldn’t. We’re human beings. But true friends, real friends, friends of any value or consequence talk about these issues with each other. Is that situation (whatever it is) really worth losing however many years of friendship you’ve built with each other? And I know, “Well they should apologize…” blah blah blah… put on your big boy/girl pants and buck-up kiddo. It doesn’t make you wrong to apologize first. It makes you a bigger person that puts more value in your relationship and friendship than you do in being angry or carrying a grudge. I’m not going to quote the old, “it takes more calories to frown than to smile” Or crap like that. I’m simply going to say: Grow up. Stop sweating the small stuff… and it’s all small stuff. Just remember, it’s never just you and that other person. What about all your mutual friends that now feel caught in between the two of your BS? Are they supposed to pick sides? No, that’s not right. Are they supposed to have to manage who is hanging out with who, and when? No. They didn’t do anything wrong to deserve that. They were being a good friend, to the both of you. Now it’s time for both of you to bury the hatchet and do the grow-up thing. It’s hard, you need to swallow some pride, sometimes more than you want to, and even more so, sometimes more than you should. But guess what? It’s worth it. These are true friends, not acquaintances. And when it’s hurting someone else and their friendship with yourself and this other person, you owe it to THEM – The innocent party. I’m not saying kiss and make up and forget about it, but DEAL WITH IT! Don’t brush it under the rug, don’t keep playing the pity party, and most notably, stop waiting for the other person to do something. If you’re waiting for the other person, it means you’ve put your little child boots on and are waiting for the other person to realize they’re more mature than you are. Be the mature person, deal with your issues and get past them. For better or worse, just deal with them and move on. You’ll both be happier either way, a weight will be removed from your shoulders and your other friends won’t be in the middle anymore. It’s not fair to them, and most notably, it’s not fair to you. Be better than that. You ARE better than that. Be the friend you want others to see you as, even if it hurts. You’ll be better off in the long-run. And you’re worth it. Trust me, you’re worth it, either way. And as always remember; Much Love, Smile On.

Sincerely,
Hopeless Romantics

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